~ Joining my heart's griefs ~ / Thursday, January 11, 2007
"What's in a name..." a famous playwright once wrote.
"..." I add. Your career was startling, remarkable yet highly un-noticed. My days of boredom still continue, as I delve into the denizens of physics and chemistry, embarking on a higher personal journey of self-discovery, integrating with my fellow conics and humble mechanics. The regions of the acidic environment remain untouched, for my lacking ability to learn quicker than a snail climbing Mount Everest continue to strain my resolve to learn.
Alas, time flies and the world continues. The time you worked was measured not in days but in sweat, tears and endless headaches. Not in things done but in things yet to do. If it wasn't for one speech I might have gone astray, insane, maybe dead?
You still should strive for what you believe in. Do what you please. Please what you do.
You may think to ask me, "Are you alright? "
To which I will reply, "I am quite sure he is."
Is my mind screwed? Am I mistaken? Have you been gone? Or was it I that was gone? Such questions floated across my mind, and I have taken the challenge to ponder the possibilites of these questions. Has something gone askew? What is this, for lack of terms, faggotry of a post?
So be happy. Be nice to everyone you know. Embrace the love they pour out to you upon your return to the messenger service network. And return it. Well, its a slow process, healing. I pity you. You are going to start a computer ban, which will totally neglect you as a result. But no fears, little one, you will not be deserted so fast. Perhaps in April or June. Your owner has not decided. But rest assured, now is not the time. You will be restored after the HSC. To you it might seem strange that I'm typing such an entry to you, in such a happy layout. In fact, this entry seems to belong to your brother, the private blog. In fact, you're longer than the ones I write there I would think. Or maybe, maybe...this is a suicide note left by me to the world to interpret. Maybe. Or maybe I'm too chicken to do it and can only imagine suicide as a venture of escape.
Escape. Such a pivotal word.
Words. Such a meaningless facade of interpretations.
Interpretations. Such a large discrimination based on perspective.
Perspectives. Such an incompetent phrase for something so much greater than what it does.
Who knows...but one thing is still ascertained: You have changed. The past is the past. The present is in the present. The future is...well, the future. Who knows what your future holds? Can you still be the doctor you hoped to be? Or can you get into that co-op program you so dearly wanted? Does that combined law/commerce sound inviting to you? Does it? At the moment, you'd think otherwise. Why of course, you have but 8 to 9 months to decide who you'll be. Then can you differentiate between what you are then and what you want to do now. Hopefully, your absence from the world (wide web) will widen your horizons to where you stand now with your studies, your family and to your friends. One may wish for no more, and no less. You have been missed, little me.
Unlike me. As Mcdull once said,
"My Mother lies in the past.
My Father lies in the future.
Leaving me...
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...stuck in the present."
Fuck.
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I need a cloud....
....maybe two. That'll give me some shade...
Labels: rant
/because of my high tolerance.
9:48:00 PM
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