Relationship advice / Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The following is copied pasted out of a msn conversation I had with a friend a few nights ago in regards to her recent breakup with her ex. She wanted to know how I was getting through mine and I typed up a spiel just so she may gain an insight to my thought processes.
edit: Please bear in mind this was written at like 2am. So if it doesn't make sense, sorry. It probably
seemed like a good idea at the time.
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"being single again for the past few weeks have brought back a lot of stuff I didn't realise I'd had lost when I was in a relationship and now I realise that I can use those things to help improve my next one
hanging with different crowds, and looking at how the singletons interact with each other and i've noted my own exchange with various other single girls barring what I can't remember or what I did when I was drunk, there are a couple of things I've learnt about myself.
1. I must be confident in myself. Confidence can be shattered in relationships, but they can also be rebuilt when you are single. That's all it really means to be 'ready' for the next relationship.
all a matter of 'confidence' in yourself, and 'confidence' in that potential partner. I don't like throwing the word 'trust' in there, only because trust denotes a more personal understanding of that person, which can be seriously lacking if there is no foundation for that 'trust' in that first place. I think that was a lesson that was present in ur relationship with kel, confusing 'confidence' with 'trust'.
2. I just need to widen my eyes a bit more to see who's truly looking with similar interests like myself, and those who only want a bit of fun teasing etc. Its hard to tell in the beginning how to distinguish those flirting with you to see if you're worth sticking with, and those who only want to flirt with you because they can and want to. Because If I know that, I can avoid a lot of worthless time-wasting between relationships
3. In these holidays alone, true, I have been approached by a girl on one occasion where there might have been something going on, but I must always remember the lessons I've learnt before and not let pure physical attraction get in the way of what I'm looking for. Rather, focus my attention at looking at girls who I feel deserve that attention, and can reciprocate that.
4) I've also listened to a fair share of break up/make up stories these holidays, which like i said, is v. common during exam periods. Each one yields a wealth of information that you can use to arm yourself with in the future. Just because it didn't happen to yourself doesn't mean that you can't learn something from it. so if you wondered how I'm so patient with you and can still find positive things to say about it afterwards, its all merely my thanks to you for allowing me to privy to that information. And that, is what I call true 'trust'.
5) Lastly, based on all those lessons I've learnt above, it initially did seem that I had enough in there to easily find the type of person that I want/need, but of course, reality begs to differ. I know that some may want to call it 'rushing', but to me, not only is that concept more seemingly like another's excuse, but is also a very subjective term. Through my interactions with other girls in general, I have felt potential sparks with certain individuals. Its a powerful and shocking feeling, and definitely one I wish to explore with further detail.
Again, just knowing these things isn't enough. This is where what people call 'fate' or 'luck' comes in. Unfortunately, a large amount of the time, its all due to 'circumstances' and 'chance' which determine what type of people you meet and at what instance you meet them at, because it is very easy to miss a chance with someone just because of a circumstance didn't allow you to talk to him/her properly enough for you to realise that there may be something there.
I hope i've written enough there to satisfy you tonight. I'm really typed out now."
Labels: Friends, life, relationships
/because of my high tolerance.
12:55:00 AM
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