~ Assasination via my Ipod ~ / Sunday, April 15, 2007
Why would you ever need to do this? Well, we aren't exactly sure. But there is likely a situation somewhere in the world where a person who only has an Ipod on them and needs to defend themselves against an attacker. Check out all 8 methods after the jump. My personal favorite is poisoning a tea bag using the lithium-ion battery and letting someone drink tea made from it.
1. Break it in half with your hands (very easy to do) and use the glass viewing screen's broken edge as a razorblade to slice the jugular when they are looking the other way.
2. Take off one sock (a dress or tube sock; pantyhose will work in a pinch), place the Ipod in the sock, swing it around as fast as you can (being careful to not hit yourself), and whack the intended target right on the temple.
3. Take the reflective shiny part and catch the sun's ray and shine it in a vehicle driver's eyes, or if you are at a rock concert and the lead singer is prancing around on a center stage that protrudes into the audience like a phallus, you can use the same technique.
4. The cord on the earbud headphones can be used to strangle someone. A knee in the back can give extra leverage.
5. Dig a pit about 5 feet deep, then take about 15 3-foot-long stakes 2 inches in diameter and sharpen one end to a fine point, like a very sharp pencil. Jam the sticks at least a foot into the ground, with the sharp ends pointing up. Cover the hole with pine boughs, grass, and leaves. Treat the Ipod like a slice of cheese pizza in a deep, hot oven and place it gently in the middle.
6. Carefully unstaple a tea bag and pour the contents on a plate. Break into the lithium-ion battery pack and saturate the tea with the battery's poison, then dry the tea in the sun (or with a hair dryer if you are in a hurry). Put tea back in tea bag and bend the staple back to its original position. Put the tea bag back where you got it.
7. Download to the Ipod "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters, or Crazy Axel Frog. Tell someone you will give him or her your Ipod if they listen to that song a hundred times in a row.
Take a video when you start seeing them froth at the mouth. Then sell it on Ebay.
8. Hide the Nano in a bowl of lutefisk, then take it to the annual Norsefest Lutefisk Eating Competition in Madison, Minnesota.
(
sourced from gizmodo.com)----
Sidenote: My computer can't read my Ipod... T____T
Need to find a way to fix it...otherwise I have to use *gasp*
the warranty...*
Labels: Ipod
/because of my high tolerance.
5:26:00 PM
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