Cam Wong
MBBS, Mast.Critical Care
PGY3 Emergency SRMO
I will always stay positive, do my best and love/be loved

Here's to travelling into the future!

1. Starcraft II
2. Reddit.com
3. Whirlpool
4. Ozbargain
5. ABC News



This blog is dedicated to myself, Cambridge Wong. I don't blog here often, and have neglected it for years. Nevertheless, this is the only place I have ever attempted to log my life. So as long as I can remember that I have a blog, and can bother to visit it, I will try to make an update. Thank you
November 2006
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May 2011
September 2011

Okay, I have to submit my medical preferences for next year in by this Friday! I keep forgetting to do it! Aaaahhh...I don't know what to choose.

16 streams at Campbelltown, and 16 streams at Blacktown. Must choose a stream.
Each stream is divided into 2 medicine attachments, and 2 surgery attachments.
What to do, what to do...
I want to cardiology, but also want to do neurology. Why can't there be a stream with BOTH cardio and neurology. As for surgery elects, why do ALL the streams that have orthopaedics have breast surgery as the 2ndary elect. -.-"
What should I choose?! What should I choose?!
There's also surgery elects available at Bankstown Hospital, and that's heaps closer...but I'm more medically-oriented than surgery, so what does that mean!?
And also, I should do something not awesomely cool now, so that I can do that awesomely cool thing later in Year 5, when I actually know shit. So what's not awesomely cool but still something fun and radical? >.<

Blaaah!
See, if this was a mutiple choice question, I'd just pick 'A' or 'C', but now, there's 4 times as many options to choose from.

P.S: I've only put up the Campbelltown/Macarthur Hospital streams simply because I have no intentions of going to Blacktown Hospital untill necessary (Year 5...)

='(...
Oh well, just as long as I'm not stuck doing something lame like geriatrics.

Labels: medicine, stress, uni

/because of my high tolerance.
9:43:00 PM

>>>
...I learnt something. I admire people who don't kiss and tell.

Labels: celebrations, medicine, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
12:45:00 AM

>>>
So yeah, I'm back.
Thanks for the tags guys, you are awesome. ;)

New theme for a new season, and this one is pretty because it has a flash in it. *shakes mouse wildly across the screen* Look at that cloud go! Weeeee!!!

Umm...I finished 3 of my exams already. There's one more for me to do, Anatomy. That's going to be a little bitch, but nothing that I shouldn't be able to handle after those piece of shit exams they gave us to do.

Right now, I know nothing about anatomy really. =)
Hopefully by Wednesday, I will know the names of every bone, muscle, artery and vein as well as nerves in the human body and be able to identify what they are on a dead corpse.
How fun! =D
Someone can just like seriously, kill me now...

I can't wait until after that exam though...Major party! Although they'll be pretty shortlived, I apparently start again on the 13th of July. The learning never ends when you're a med student it seems.

Makes me just want to bang my head like this:
Oh well, things come and change. I've accepted that much about life.

Before I leave you all today, I'll leave 3 messages.
The first goes like this:
Good luck to the rest of you who havn't finished your exams yet! I'm sure the bountiful results you reap will all come from all those hours of studying you sowed. =P If not, then like I said, I wish you guys good luck, if not, the best of luck. XD
The second goes like this:
Thankyou for investing that time with me. I havn't exactly been the best at what I did, and no doubt contributed to some of the worst. But you stuck by me, day in, day out, and for that I am grateful. For all the things that we did, all that time that we shared, I will value every moment of it and it has been a great learning curve for me. I'm sorry for the things I couldn't do for you. Oh, and for the dangers that we lived through. I take my hat off for you.
You're stronger and a wiser person than my wildest dreams.
And the last goes like this:
I don't know how to code html. XD Thankyou blogskins for this blogskin, and maybe one day it'll come to me. XD But at the moment, back to anatomy studying for me. You knows what comes next:
Ka-Me-Ha-Me-

...
Ha. =)

Labels: blog, emotions, exams, holidays, stress, thoughts

/because of my high tolerance.
9:28:00 PM

>>>
-I'm usually a patient guy, but now this has started to get to me. Why though? I'm going to ignore my first instincts which naturally say, "Is it something I did?" because I know that's bullshit. I thought I made it very clear but clearly not enough. Circumstances upon chance they'd say, but to hell with that. Must be the exam stress making my head go haywire.
-----

-I have only seen you once, yet you act like we've known each other in ages. Please, get off my case. I've ignored your messages, your calls and your convos, yet you still won't leave me alone. Its becoming stalkerish, and trust me, your whinny personality is starting to overwhelm me. As much as I care about how your day is, you don't have to feel obliged to tell me what's happening all the time. There is a limit to how much you would tell a friend, and we're barely that. Please stop. I hate clingy, especially in people you're not even close to. It just makes you look sad.
-----

-Clinical exam on next Thursday. Am not prepared. Tutor sucks like hell and has not taught us anything significant since he's appeared. No wonder we didn't get you a gift. You were absolutely crap and gave us no inspiration as to why we aspire to be in this profession. You're tardy, scruffy, unshaven and worse. You use us to get out of your clinicals, and it leaves me no wonder as to why you chose respiratory - the most boring out of the lot - as your specialisation you boring person! Even when I tried to approach you afterwards to talk about things I didn't know, and even when I asked you to sign the medical research consent form, your poor memory retention to what I just said frustrates me. Thanks for showing up 5 times this entire semester, it really showed you cared.
------

-Watched a crappy hip hop movie two days ago. I thought it would be interesting, seeing how its called "kung fu hip hop". It really isn't. Nothing fancy to start with, and Jordan Chan, please. Get the f*** off the screen. You can't sing, you can't act, and most of all, you can't dance. I can't believe you. You started off with dancing as your roots, and yet you still have to resort to doubles and stunt-tricks just to pull off what shouldn't be a complicated move to any bboy. It really makes the movie fail, what with Hyun Joon clearly outstripping you in every single dance routine. The girls however, were hot.

-------

-Done 30/60 lectures. I'm halfway there! T_T Fuck fuck fuck!!

Labels: bitching, emotions, exams, medicine, rant, stress, uni

/because of my high tolerance.
9:25:00 PM

>>>
I got fucking hit by a car....again!
WHY THE PUCK DOES IT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!? TELL MEEEEEE!!!

I was driving me and my sister home tonight, after picking her up from a party, and we got hit....from behind.

Okay, blog is just to rage-vent. Got hit around 9:40pm on the 26th april 2008, where I got hit from behind, on a roundabout where I slowed my car down to allow the car on my immediate right cross.
Behind me was a VS commodore, driven by a greek/leb guy who was on his P2's, who admits to failing to brake in time to stop crashing into my already stationary car.

Bam.

He was very cooperative and admitted it was his fault. So yeah...understandable, but still, want to rage and rage rage. He's insured by Just Cars, figures.

This means I have to go through the whole process of going to NRMA, and getting all the details conked out...again. And then that'll mean the car will be out to some garage to be fixed....again. Meaning my family will be left carless...again. And in all this, even though everybody knows its not my fault (which IT NEVER FUCKING IS!), everybody's confidence in my driving capabilities depreciates.

1. Gets hit by a douche reversing straight into my car at airport. Reason: Didn't see me.
2. Gets hit and loses right frontlight by a hit and run when I left the car parked for the day.
3. Gets hit from behind by a guy who couldn't press his brakes in time.

T___T
Do I look like I'm a good target to hit or something?!

Labels: driving, emotions, holidays, life, music spam, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
10:44:00 PM

>>>
An Anecdote I wrote for English Advanced at the start of Year 11. I found so many pieces of writing that I did that was just fantastic. One of the few times I think I was honest. Got me an A too. XD

-------------
I remember in the deepest recesses of my brain, a tiny bit of my disturbing memories lurked. As a child in my primary school, nobody cared about my wellbeing except for my friends, and even then, barely. Studying at Hurstville Public for a few years, I would never forget the exhiliration I felt when my hands first touched that letter of acceptance into the 'OC' class. Standing for 'Opportunity Class', a select few students were offered a place into these classes. Like the name suggests, the classes aim to provide its students better chances into getting a place in one of NSW's more prestigious 'selective' high schools. At first, I didn't realise the letter was offering me a place, I just stared at the envelope thinking, "The letter's so small, it probably says I didn't make it." I was expecting a large yellow envelope or something similar. I just stared at the envelope until I decided to pass it on to Mother to open, as I couldn't bear to handle the disappointment. Imagine my surprise when Mother broke down and cried all over me, holding the letter in her hand. I blanked and thought, "Its not that bad, is it?!" After another half hour of confusion and chinglish, both sides were at an understanding. Mother laughing at my ignorance and me even more confused at how I made the class and why God liked messing with me.

So there I was, an 'OC boy' as they call it. One of the elite. The upperclass of school society. My fellow classmates all whispered to one another and pouted, "You know him? Yeah, the guy with that weird name, he made OC. Be careful, he's not like us." I thought, "how different could I be? I'm still the same person. Nothing's changed." But it seemed my status said otherwise. Although I was respected for being an OC, I was neglected in terms of friendship. My mates all thought I was above them, and insisted on our separation, pointing out all our differences. I had never been more confused...

I never thought of myself as 'superior' or 'elite', but my peers all passed me off in that manner, so naturally, I thought I was what they thought I was. In the majority of my peers, I found a niche of other 'OC's' that shared and reflected my situation. I was lonely in terms of friendship, but friendly in terms of classmates. Naturally, we bonded. Since 'OC' classes didn't officially start until the next year, all we had was the label 'OC' without any difference to my classmates. Again, confusion and desolation didn't disappear until I was amongst the other 'OC's'

Over the holidays, I considered what being an OC would require. I was told that only one in every ten people were offered a place in an 'OC' class, which meant that put me in the top ten percent of the state. I was terrified what that meant. "Is there going to be lots of homework? Will i be liked by the teacher? Does that mean there will be more pressure on me?" It isn't until now I realised that those questions are shared between each individual who goes to a new school or applies for a new job.

Once term started, I found myself struggling in a lot of areas academically. What I found more disturbing was I was even more worried about how I was doing socially. Puberty had started...

I hung out with David Tran, a good friend of mine to today. Being a smart person with a very perceptive mind, I relaxed around him. I also hung out with Kevin and Michelle, both being really exceptional friends, with the latter becoming one of my besties today. Since our parents were colleague's at work, we often hung out together. They helped me out when needed and I returned the favour. The year settled into a pattern of ups and downs, much like my testosterone.

By the end of the first 'OC-ed' year, I had grown exponentially in height and I easily dwarfed the class. They were intimidated by my height and I used the advantage in open intimidation. I had also taken an interest in girls. I started taking notice of the girls in my class and no longer looked upon them as alien creatures, but captivating, attention grabbing things. mind you, I still regard their habits as alien, but at least I understand them better. It wasn't just me either. By the first term in year six, I noticed the other guys stealing some glances at particular girls. Being the only guy to consistently talk to girls, ie Michelle, I gained quick access to the gossip hotline the girls were engaged on. I often laughed at the rumours, and sometimes believed them, but looking back today I truly realise how laughable my immaturity was.

The pressure started to come in when the selective school exam date loomed closer and closer. All notions of primary romance were forgotten as heads were nosed into textbooks and pens flew across paper. The anticipation for the end of the exam signified the need to study more for it. Day in and day out were devoted to Maths, English and General Ability.

Pressure from parents also started pouring in. The Chinese Gossip Queen, ie, my Mother, the phone and her friends, provided a wealth of information on my expected marks and what I should I be striving to get. As a result, their conclusion was reflected amongst the Chinese community: tuition. So for four days a week I was sent to tutoring with Kevin and Michelle to learn the finer points of algebra and narratives.

Two months passed in this fashion and finally, the big day came. Nerves were raw, tension was high and a continuous build of nervousness were realised. I felt totally unprepared. My voice was broken, my kneecaps ached and I had a bad cold. "Why?!" I almost cried out, "Why did the almighty have to test me again? I hated what was happening to my body, and I hated the fact I was sick on the most important event in my life at that point. I just wanted things to be like what they used to be, before I made OC. I wanted to cry.

Now that wasn't the best way to feel when an important exam is in your face. I somehow survived it. Actually, I did quite well considering my tornado of emotions. I've managed to enter a selective high school, keep my friends and even gained control over my body again.

When I look back, I realise that alot of what has happened was forced upon me. Even now I find many of what I do still decided by higher powers. As I prepare for my HSC, I know that I will be expected to adopt more events that will aid me in the HSC. Like it was in primary, it is now in selective. I can only do what fate has alloted for me, and hope for the best.

-----
sigh...so true.

Labels: blog, emotions, exams, literature, memories, rant, stories, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
1:45:00 PM

>>>
This post would be to Tina and Geoff. I'm sorry I havn't blogged about your birthdays yet, so I'm going to make it up to you guys (via this very insignificant post)

Firstly, I'm going to reiterate myself and wish you two a Happy 18th. I had a great time at your place Geoff, and I'm terribly sorry about my unforgivable non-show to yours Tina (you as well, Amy). On my part, I can only say that working late nights really exerts alot of strain and stress on me.

The next time I see the both/three of you, I'm going to shout you two/three a beer. Maybe you guys don't drink, but I rkn we should make shouting beers a ritual. Like, a way to just destress and just relaaax..(gods knows I can do with one right now, even a midi would be a godsend)

-----
On Friday Morning, I dropped by Kmart just to pick up my shirt which I left the night before (fuck you, Late night fucking Thursday shopping. Sidetrack: you know I had to work until 10:15pm on Thursday night?! And Kmart friggin closed at 9:30?!). Ate lunch with Pris (gooooOoo sushi world) and trained it with Leslie to be picked up by Small Jeff (lol @ his Doraemon Car).

Mmm...what happened next...
Something along the lines of this:
Party Food was Eaten
Mini-games were played.
The throwing of food and cocktail mixing ensued.

Here's a photo of Milton pimping with Matthew and Tina. [However, Tina is closer]There were actually quite alot of little kiddies there. I wouldn't say annoying, but they sure love their balloons.

Met some new people there too. Here's Kaye, Liezl's friend.And of course, here's Geoffwie's v.large and v.delicious berfday cake.

Here of course, are our fine Sydney High specimens.The highlight of the night, captured by me and possibly Gman's dad (LOL LOL XD)
Meanwhile, everybody watched with awe and possibly jealousy.


---
Ah, feels so good to blog again.
Another siderant about how much I hate working. Fucking customers, stop fucking trying to pay me with gift cards! I mean, okay, one is okay, but for a $400 transaction, don't give me friggin 12 gift cards worth $50 and expect me to be able to process every single one and give you your receipt in 2 seconds!! And its not my fault the receipt goes to the floor! You're the douche who gave me 12 gift cards!

Oh, and to that girl who tried to steal store property through my counter, puck you. I stand for 4 hours at that counter to serve people, not to deal with people like you. So I caught you, just admit it. Don't start yelling at me at the top of your lungs like your innocent and then when my manager comes try to bolt. What are you, stupid? I may have only worked 3 shifts, but I'm not that stupid to not ask to check your bag. You can go stuff that lipstick up your *****.

Okay, I'm done. Glad to get that off my chest. Working timetable for this week:
Monday, Thursday and Friday. Tell me last minute, why don't you. I feel jipped and trapped, tired and irritable, and all because this sort've thing really messes up my holidays.

Labels: birthdays, celebrations, jobs, rant, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
7:49:00 PM

>>>
I have zero school pride. It's strange really, when I'm so focussed on creating memories through any media format. I think I connect with the people in my life, rather than the circumstances that arranged my perchance meetings with those special people.

It confuses me, sometimes, when people chant vehemently their school name continuously with pride in their voices, and I just feel absent and disjointed when amongst the crowd, no matter how minute, who are all screaming, "HIGH! HIGH! HIGH!"

Sure, if its a game, I'll support my own team, but when I thought about it, I would only support it fully if the team in question actually had a person I knew and connected with. If it were to be filled with randoms, then I'd probably lose all my enthusiasm towards watching the game.

This analogy I can probably extend to almost anything else that is a location in my life. My primary school, my suburb, my high school, heck; I'd go even as far as say I'm also unpatriotic in that I don't really have 'Aussie pride'. Not that I'd deliberately go out of my way and protest against my own country, but rather my feelings towards this country would probably be equivalent to my feelings towards China and Britain. (I do however, have a distaste for America. Canada ftw!)

Now, don't get me started with shit about 'azn pride', because truthfully, I'd rather not. I detest people who swing those words so idly into my face, "Where'z your azn pride, my chigga?!" I know I'd probably just smile at you and make some random crack joke in return, but honestly, inside, its hollow again. Especially since I came to Australia when I was 3, I can't exactly pinpoint what you mean when you tell me you have 'azn pride'. Furthermore, the fact that I've been here since I was that young and that I've probably retained a larger sense of my own cultural heritage/fads/fashion sense than aforementioned annoyance would only reinforce my argument. Please, if you're not 'fob' (<-- another example of annoying ignorance), then don't arbitrarily call people that unless its a sign of affection. --- Onto another subject of school ranks? I know my blog readers would rather avoid reading school related marks, so just ignore the rest of this post if you will. Just that I'd rather write this down in my blog rather than forget later on.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.....
....
...
..
.

Highlight if you really want to read you busybodies. =P Trial results and ranks if known:
English Adv: Paper 1: 38/55. 210 students
English Adv: Paper 2: 48/60. 210 students
English Extension: 45/50, 2nd. 45 students.
Maths 4U: 36th. 122 students. (<--no comment)
Maths 3U: 62th. 180 students.(<--no comment)
Physics: 39th. 128 students.
Chemistry: 47th. 108 students.
projected UAI: 97-98?
Really really really need to king my interview now... I've failed 2/2 interviews atm, so please please let me do well in this one.

Labels: exams, medicine, rant, school, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
7:52:00 PM

>>>
I am me.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. There are people who have some parts like me but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it.

I own everything about me - my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all my thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they may be - anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth and all the words that come out of it - polite, sweet and rough, correct or incorrect; my voice, loud and soft; all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.

I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By doing so, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for the solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.

When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting. I can discard that which is unfitting and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which i discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me and therefore I can engineer me.
I am me and I am I am okay.

Labels: literature, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
10:01:00 PM

>>>
I couldn't answer the last question. That's two marks gone for me. T____T
And I've been caught out answering about another 2-3 marks of incorrect careless mistakes. T__T

THERE GOES LIKE 50 RANKS!!!


AAARGHEHKEL:RKQW:RJ:

FUCK DKL:JERFL:KSDFJ :DSJF DILL MUDA FURJKERL:SAJF

@)u(087()udf :#wjr lefjpousj f::# (U213;J R:iodgU GIO2;UJ 3;O9u R89UO;I3R JE8EOUF;sjdF ;934; tjkl;fu9d;ajdkf; i;jq39ruS" f'a


grr...

Now I'm in a bad mood to be remembering 3 essays for tmr's paper 2.
*Storms off*

Labels: exams, HSC, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
8:12:00 PM

>>>
Physics Trials tomorrow. Hm.. Do not know what to think. I feel like I should know the answers to all these trials right in front of my face right now, but when I actually read the questions, I get that feeling of, "hmm...toughie. I'm not sure I can answer this...maybe the next one is easier" and I repeat that thought for every 3 questions.

Now, hopefully, everybody feels the same way and I'll still come out that exam tomorrow beaming. =) But I just remembered they're placing a heavy emphasis on transformers. Oh shit. I seriously just remembered, as I was typing that very sentence.

I guess that just cut another half hour of sleep away from me then.
You know, worst comes to worst, I'll resort to plan B.

If I look like I'm going to ace the trials, people will think I'm going to ace that trial. And if I believe other people think I'll ace the trial, there's my confidence booster and therefore a concentration raiser. =]

So.....

1. *Squints Eyes like asians do*
2. Pulls out glasses
3. Tucks in shirt and pulls pants up
4. Calculator in left hand, blue pen in right.
5. Pops a concentration pill
6. Drinks Can of Red Bull (boo to all you V drinkers) [sidenote: you hear about that guy who drank 8 red bulls and died of heart attack coz it stopped? now that's hectic...think how slow everything seemed to him. one word for it: epic.]
7. Gets 3 hair pins and pins fringe.
8. Gets one more hair clip/pin just to make things even.
=)


SUPER NERD CAM!!!!

WHOOOOOOOSSSHHH!!!

Labels: blog, exams, rant, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
10:53:00 PM

>>>
There is always a glass window people wear when socialising.
There is always a glass window people wear when alone.
To me, I always have a glass window almost 24/7.

A glass window is a fake self, something you project to hide certain qualities about yourself that you are either ashamed of or feel it is necessary to continue holding a charade with. It is interesting, because I've always thought it projects the image you want people to hold about you.
But that isn't always true. I've come to realise that not only is that a falsehood, it does not always guarantee you the true thing that you want. Sure, you get a better image from your peers, but is that what you truly want?

I'm certain that not all people are in this position, because, surely, not everybody is determined to be fake. I salute all those out there who are happy and willing to be 'true', not only to themselves, but to the world. Now, I certainly don't feel this is too abstract to be understood, but bear with me if I skip/gloss over what it means to be 'true' or 'false'.

To me, I always feel I come across as 'fake'. Not real. Certainly not as polished as my image seems to be to the public. And even if you had a bad image of me to start with, that's probably definitely better than what it means to reveal my true nature to the world. But that argument hits a snag...Aren't all people aiming for things that they want, and hence, reveal their tendencies to side with their true nature? Not necessarily, no. Sadly, people like me don't always feel serving our best interests is the way to go. In fact, even posting this blog entry could be considered a release of my 'true nature', or if you were to consider from another perspective, more embellishments that fuel my continual glass window.

People always come to me looking for a joke, perhaps seeking humour which they cannot seem to satisfy by themselves, and always end up leaving either bemused by what I have to offer or downright confused. I sometimes envy them, being able to laugh for the joy of laughing; to be able to truly act out their actions. No, I shouldn't say 'act'. I act. They live their actions. It pains me when I realise that I don't laugh because of its source, but because it is expected of me if I am to maintain this image. And the laugh then comes out. Not truly forced, partly because there is a ring of humour to whatever the joke is, but mainly because I'm so pitiful its funny. I can only speak for myself, but perhaps this holds true for you too? Perhaps.

I do realise that it is often my fault I'm trapped in this predicament, this endless cycle. I'm also aware I just deleted a paragraph which makes this one invalid simply because I haven't explained why its an endless cycle. But suffice to say it was too profound to be on this blog. And also it was too truthful. But I suppose my agenda behind this post was to be truthful...rather self-defeating then, isn't it?

To the point, I just wish I wasn't so fake, so that nobody would ever expect me to be anything more than what I should be. A minimalist. A nobody. Just that guy in the grade you remember by face, but can't recall his name, what classes he's in and who he hangs out with. That guy. No, not the one that hangs in the library. Not the guy who stays in the senior study studying. That guy you see stalking the corridors at lunch and recess because his only purpose in your life is to fill in space.

[The following 4 paragraphs have been omitted]

So following on from that, I can only conclude that this fake projection is extremely weak. One chink in a glass armour and the whole thing collapses soon after. Now, I feel this image only needs to hold for another couple of months. Then I'll truly decide if I should convert to bullet-proof glass, or just melt it altogether and start afresh. Well, at this point in time, I am the fake me. The fake me is who I am. So...

Cheers.

Labels: emotions, rant, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
9:01:00 PM

>>>
HSC Timetable is out. Dowdell just had to remind me at school today so...fantastic.
---
Friday 19th October - English Adv (Paper 1: Area of Study) 9:20 - 11:30
---
Monday 22nd October - English Adv (Paper 2: Modules) 9:25 - 11:30
Wednesday 24th October - Chemistry 9:25 - 12:30
---
Monday 29th October - Mathematics Ext 2 9:25 - 12:30
Wednesday 31st October - Mathematics Ext 1 9:25 - 11:30
Friday 2nd November - English Ext 1 9:25 - 11:30
---
Monday 5th November - Physics 9:25 - 12:30
---
So 7 exams in all. I actually quite like my timetable, even if there is 3 exams in one week.
But Maths isn't such a biggie, so I'm cool with it. (obviously not to some people, so I feel for you if the above criterion applies to you)

What I am displeased with is the fact I only have two days between English and Chemistry, which is simply gay. Why not make it the Thursday or Friday? I'd feel heaps better if I had three days of study rather than two. Again, opinions differ.

Well, my timetable only spans about 17 days, so I'm grateful for that. That would at least mean I can get a good deal of partying done between then and when I'm gone for HK.

Faggotry. Not a term I use often but I feel the use of it now. Utter faggotry.
Onto other results, I have received my 4U and 3U exams back. I'm ashamed of my marks (Disclaimer: some of you would slaughter to get my marks, so if maths makes you feel bad, please ignore the paragraph that follows)
I received 4_/76 in 4U and 4_/61 in 3U. (marks are not revealed as they have not been finalised nor have I scabbed enough marks to deem it worthy to post) I kind of feel dissatisfied. Dissatisfied for having dropped out of the top 20. Dissatisfied for losing to all the Dr. Du tutoring boys AGAIN. Dissatisfied for not even being able to reach my class average. But most of all, dissatisfied because I know I could've done better.

My dad will murder me when he finds out, so I'm just going to hide it for now until I get my other results back. Hopefully I won't do that bad there.

Faggotry. Blatant use of vocabulary that may lessen my rage. Must invent a machine that converts inner rage into will power to work, then patent it before selling it to all Year 12 students. Make millions from it before converting that into a software program compatible with Microsoft and become even richer, doing all that while I complete my medicine degree.

Labels: exams, HSC, medicine, results, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
6:27:00 PM

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I hate it when it rains.
I hate it when it thunders.
I hate it when it gets so close.
I hate it when the clouds cloud up.
I hate it when the clouds disappear.
I hate it when my english HW gets owned.
I hate it when my maths isn't up to scratch.
I hate it when stuff doesn't go the way you want.
I hate it when stuff like my camera dies on me.
I hate it when you have your travel pass stolen.
I hate it when you are forced to walk home in the rain.
I hate it when driving in the rain becomes dangerous.
I hate it when driving in wet clothes gives you a cold.
I hate it when chemistry comes in a block of 3 periods on Monday.
I hate it when chemistry tutoring happens when you missed lunch and dinner.
I hate it when a stranger starts shouting racist remarks about my family.
I hate it when a cat that purred when you scratched it starts scratching you.

I liked the sky today when it was all pink and orange.
I liked the grapes I'm butchering at this moment.
I liked the friends who supported me today.

Pro's: 3
Con's: 17

Ratio=3:17

Hey! Not bad! =D The week can only get better from the way I see it now!

Shout out at the end of the post to all the Sydney Girls doing their exams for the next two weeks. If you're a SG and you're reading this during your exam block, shame on you =P You should be studying, not procrastinating!

Labels: blog, Friends, stress

/because of my high tolerance.
9:16:00 PM

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Have you ever woke up one day feeling different?
That something in your life just wasn't right?
Maybe you came across a truth about something you never thought about before...or something that just never seemed that way in a particular perspective but in the next, something unfamiliar.

Now, it'd be funny to carry on saying that I feel like I can bend the space-time continuum, fly, predict things, fix broken things in a flash, heal any body wounds or steal other people's super powers, but of course, this post isn't to reveal what sort of superpower I have, I mean, want. (In case you're interested, I really want to be able to turn into a super saiyan at will)

But really, what I wanted to talk about is the feeling you get when you finally had it with all the shit people give you.

Expectations?

No, I'm not on about the whole 'waah, my parents are giving me the shits about the HSC and why being a garbo is just as good as being a doctor' whinge. You know all that anyway without me having to articulate it in words. (Besides, I'm not good at articulation of thoughts. I have a friend called Milton who's excellent at it though! I'd like to quote him in this post, because when I read what he wrote on his post on the 26th of Feb, I smiled and silently agreed with him.

"Sometimes I do get tired of shit. It doesn't matter whether it's indirectly or directly affecting on me, it just reaches a point where I cease caring. I don't have an infinite tolerance level - as many people can attest to - and this is showing through at this very moment.")

The thing is, I kind of feel the same. I'm just getting really tired of hearing shit all of the time. I mean, does being a good listener mean you have to always listen even if you don't want to? Is there a choice involved before the conversation? Sure, if I ask about it, then by all means, tell me. But if I don't...well, there you go.

I'm sure they're all thinking," So...I tell you like, everything about me, so why don't you ever tell me about yourself!" But the thing is, I never told you to tell me everything about you, you told me on your free will, so shouldn't it be that by my own personal free will, I'm allowed to choose whether or not I tell you about my own personal life.

In particular, my relationships.

I don't get it, why do some of you still think I'm the biggest player around when you know I've already denounced my ties with other schools. How have I done so? Well, uninstalling my msn might be a big factor. How can I talk to other people from other schools if I've cut off one of my big sources of gossip and social tools? I hate it now when people ask me about who I'm with now, or tell me they're disappointed by my lack of response short of foul utterances. I'd like to express my distaste for this nature of conversation. Can't I just talk to a girl like a friend without you taking things out of context and blowing things up into proportion? What's wrong with shopping with your friends anyway? I like shopping. They like shopping. I like their opinions on certain fashions and is there anything wrong with that? How about hanging out with them? Saturday is my only day to de-stress properly so let me be. Bag me out for other things if you must. Don't tell me that you can't talk shit about me without having to drag what I do outside of school, because that's loathsome.

However, these are just my emotions speaking. My mind tells me that these sort of conversations are precisely what keeps friendships alive. The inquisition into each others' lives, trying to explore more about our comrades, and hopefully help them in some way.

I hate clashes between logic and passion.

Labels: stress

/because of my high tolerance.
8:20:00 PM

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Fuck you.
JUST FUCK OFF!!
YOU'RE FRACKING ANNOYING!
OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE I TOLD TO STOP CALLING ME...YOU!!!

YOU'RE LIKE A FRAPPIN' STALKER OR SOMETHING! JUST....JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!

How many calls is that in a week?
15?18?24?

and if you feel so great and proud for doing it....you're not helping me!

I already told my parents THERE WILL BE NO-ONE TO CALL ME! AND I"M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT EVER PICKS UP THE PHONE, OKAY?!

Because of you, my parents keep giving me suss looks!!
WHAT'S THE POINT IN CALLING AND ASKING FOR ME ONLY TO HANG UP ON ME AFTER A MINUTE I PICK UP THE GODAMN PHONE!!

I can take all the shit my friends give me, all that shit about me playing around, all that shit about me being cold and unfriendly and a bully, and all that shit about me knowing more than i should, BUT STOP GIVING ME SHIT THAT DOESN"T INVOLVE MY FAMILY OR MY STUDIES!

Gods...what did I ever do to you...
please...please leave me alone or something...

threatening me about your 'gangster' brother doesn't exactly make me warm up to you and reconcile things either...

geez...i should never have helped you when you looked like you need it...now that I know what you really are, you're pathetic...really.. There's no other word for it, you're just pathetic. Whimpering to every person about your problems and expect them to whip out a solution just for you. Aren't you just a perfect lil spoilt princess...

I don't know what I ever saw in you...


I know you don't have access to this blog, but if you ever do, I'll just leave a little note right here saying this is just an excerpt of what I wrote in my private blog...

Labels: stress

/because of my high tolerance.
9:42:00 PM

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